Luna Tail

Actually.. I was in a meeting with the boss, fortunately the boss didn’t call me into her office for a meeting! In my dream my boss and I were at some sort of meeting, or conference, and it was rather boring. I was asking her if it would be okay if I brought my knitting and knitted during the meeting. She didn’t care (she wouldn’t in real life either) but she pointed to the assistant director and kinda implied I should ask her. I didn’t want to though!

I also remember walking around a school like campus looking for this work meeting… I’m not sure if that was before or after the above portion of the dream. I needed travel insurance also, for getting around the campus. I was watching my phone or something, texting maybe, and ended up following an asian woman in the wrong direction. But I caught myself and went the right way again.

It was a short dream, as my dreams go. But I do remember it!

I don’t want to jinx it, but I have the potential to retire in five and a half years. I hope to do so by November of 2013, just before Christmas. And this trip to St. George, Utah for flyball, I found myself talking to my friend about retirement quite a bit.

We didn’t end up listening to many books on CD during the drive, but the news and the conversation were interesting. And I do talk about retirement… I will only be 46 years old… as long as I don’t die or the State changes the laws or something. Retirement really does seem too good to be true. But if I do… if I really do retire, I’ll be set for life and I can do all the things I love.

And most importantly, my financial stability and security won’t depend on my performance at a job. Because I never really think I’m good enough… maybe it’s just because my life depends on my job, and all my dogs and my house, and it’s so important that I’m always afraid I might lose it.

I need a positive attitude!

LOL I posted that blog subject on my other blog, Tip Tail, about Tatum.. and I make myself laugh so I had to post it over here, too. But it’s true. Dang… so this past weekend I had no dog sports, but goodness… since it was my first weekend in five weeks, not doing dog sports or camping all the days, I had a ton of things to catch up on!

Saturday I had a private lesson with Tatum, that worked out great. Then the Hubby and I saw Iron Man, which was fun. Gotta spend some time with the husband! Then Sunday I went to my parents most of the day, with Chase, Levi and Tatum.. then to flyball practice after. Got home about 9:30. So late.

Then Sunday morning I had agility practice at 8, then my nails done at noon, then 3pm I had a vet appointment for Lucy and Levi… and Lucy does not have cancer! The vet is pretty darn sure! I have to post about that on Tip Tail too… gads no time! Anyway then at 6pm we went to see a tax guy. We paid $1,500.00 on our taxes and it sucked! We filed an extention and hopefully the tax guy will be able to help us out.

Whew.

This morning I went to help with a training class at work, and I’ve been working all afternoon. This evening I have got to have some down time and put my laundry away. It’s clean, but it’s all in bins in the basement!

I need to get away, get out my passport and go on a vacation! But then I’d miss the dogs and the husband…

So anyway, off to do more stuff!

Well this morning I gave a training class at work. I have to admit, it makes me feel responsible. Like I’m getting something done. And I will admit, too, that I’m rather proud of myself. There were ten people in the class, and I was only a little nervous.

A couple of years ago, and before the Zoloft, I would have been a wreck. Thank the gods for drugs.

And I also know the subject matter a lot more than I did just a year ago. Which definitely helps me. I didn’t even have to go in overly prepared like I did the first time I gave the training. I’m a programmer, not an accountant… so I ask the accountants, the students, what they want, and I can, pretty much, put something together.

So yup, I feel responsible, mature, and proud of myself that I can give a training class. Really, I never thought I’d be able to.

I’m going to Colorado tomorrow morning, too, so this might be my last post for the weekend. No Hilton Head rental for me, though, I’m staying at the cheap Motel in Colorado to do dog agility!

That’s me. Number One Idiot. I won’t even say what I did, but I woke up at 2am with awful back pain, the dogs were stress panting in my face and on my head, and it took me about a half hour to figure out what was going on. My pager had gone off, and I hadn’t heard it.

Needless to say, I could hardly get out of bed my lower back hurt so much. At that time I admitted to myself that yeah, at 40 I guess I am getting old and my body doesn’t heal up as well as it has been. I made some poor decisions and now I’m trying to fix them at work. So far, so good.

Anyway, stupid day. That’s what I get for working on a Monday. I’m taking Friday off to go to a flyball tournament, hopefully that’ll go better than this stupid day.

I need to do something about my back. Maybe get a soft pillowtop for my mattress, because I think it’s too hard and it’s hurting my back. Ugh. I can hardly bend over. I have to go straight down and bend at my knees, and that still hurts. Won’t be able to put the wine in the wine racks when I get home tonight, I’ll just have to lay around. Or maybe find a chiropractor. Ugh.

Okay I think I’m catching up on sleep now. Man… these big weekends really take a lot out of me. I was hoping to take the boys jogging today, take my lunch when I work from home and do so, but I was just too dead tired. But sitting around for the last couple of days, and sleeping good for the last couple of nights, has helped a lot.

Now I’m settling back into my routine, I need to clean my house this weekend and wash up the bathroom vanities. The Husband has been vacuuming and, fun of fun, picking up dog poop in the yard. He is such a good guy!

I really am not very motivated to work lately… I’d rather play. But that’s really nothing new. We are going to be upgrading our hardware at work and I’m testing out some scripts and making sure they run on the new box. So far, so good, and I’m learning a lot in the process.

Is it Friday yet? No? Oh man… it really should be. This week has been a holiday week and so I’m all messed up. Though yesterday, Wednesday, I was lucky enough to take the boys jogging, take a bath, then take a nap (it’s strange using the word ‘take’ for all those activities). And get a couple hours of work in. I wasn’t feeling well yesterday, I think because I was still tired from the agility trial, and then I went jogging. And on Tuesday I lifted weights during my work exercise time. I haven’t done that in a while and my chest muscles are very sore today. I will do my other set tomorrow.

I want to get back into better shape… for agility, flyball, and the cruise. And the boys really need to do more jogging and exercising. Even Chase is out of shape. So, even if I just don’t feel like it I have to go jogging anyway!

I am just so tired today I could curl up and take a long, deep nap. Maybe because of a big lunch. But I still don’t feel all too well. My neck still has so much pressure and cracks. My throat is scratchy, my nose is almost stuffy.. it’s enough to annoy me, not enough for me to really do something about it. But I’m getting closer to doing something about it.

Maybe I need a plasma lift to carry me around work so I don’t have to walk.. then I could take a snooze on it too.

Almost time to go home for the day, yay!

Woo hoo Friday is here. I love Friday’s. I’m wearing blue jeans today.. I know I know, I shouldn’t, but usually I wear black jeans and mine were downstairs in huge clean clothes pile and so I threw on the blue jeans instead.

I think it’s going to snow this weekend. Again. And be cold. Well, I’m not minding it yet. I am going to Los Angeles on the 31st, going to the Clicker Expo. I’m excited. Will be fun, and warm there! And then I’m going (hopefully) to Las Vegas Mach 1 and 2 for a flyball seminar.

This weekend, I’ll be doing dog training Saturday, going to help my Dad move furniture on Sunday, then more dog training on Monday. Will be a good weekend. And today is Day 3 and I’m feeling pretty good today!

I won’t tell you where I work but you might already know. I may have posted it in the past. Believe me, I don’t get paid as much as I could elsewhere… but I do get a pension, so that is nice.

I work in the Technical area which is separate from the rest of the office… but in name only. I work with accountants and managers and testers and such. I’m a programmer so I’m technical.

Anyway the big honcho of our whole organization (and that’s big, believe you me) has said that we all need to save electricity by cutting back on using it. Okay well sure that is a good idea.

So then we get this email today from one of the head honchos of our technical area. And it says we have to remove all personal electronic devices from our offices.

This includes small refrigerators, coffee makers, microwaves, fans, etc. We already are not allowed space heaters because they disrupt the entire environmental control of the building. But now only us technical people have to remove our personal appliances. So I asked my accountant friend if he could take 2 small fridges, 2 microwaves, 2 coffee machines and a number of fans and put them in his office. He laughed.

Well, hopefully this will be straightened out in the next couple of weeks. I have no intention of removing my tiny little 2 pot coffee machine. I make Decaf, while the rest of the office makes caffeinated. Hrmph.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Maybe we won’t be allowed lights either. Or, heck, even computers. That would save a ton of energy! LOL

So my friend at work yesterday was asking me some questions he thought would trip me up. But you see, I know myself pretty well and I know what I want out of life.

I am 40 years old now and I can, potentially, retire in 6 years. I’ll have 25 years in with the state, I’ll have to use my 401k to buy out 5 years, and then I’ll get 60% of my income as my pension.

So he asks me if I got $1 million a year right now to change jobs, but the caveat was I had to work until I was 60 years old, would I do it?

Would you?

He is 52 years old so he would take it right away, as he’d only have 8 more years to work. Me, however, I would have to work 20 more years. Sure, I’d be rich as hell, but in money only. Not as a human.

No amount of money would keep me working until I’m 60 years old. The more important things to me are quality time with my husband, my family, and my dogs. I would rather struggle with money and do the things I am passionate about, rather than work my whole life away. Neither my husband nor I value work all that much. I value personal growth, learning, loving and living life. And work does not figure into that. Sure I value my work, I enjoy my work, I love my coworkers and friends I have here. But I resent having to go to work 40 hours a week every week, work for ‘the man’ and not have the time for myself. I’m spoiled rotten and I know it.

And that’s why, too, I can’t be angry at my husband for not working. I really don’t care if he works or not. I do want us to have the income I have become accustomed to. Because, again, I’m spoiled rotten and I want to be able to do all the dog things I still do. And we need health insurance, of course.

When I am 90 and can no longer run with my dogs, I want to sit back on my comfy couch and reflect on my life, and know that I did exactly what I was passionate about doing. Work does not fall into that category. Because you know, we can’t take money with us. Maybe we can take our love and our passions with us. I hope we have a soul that will go onto something else when we die. And maybe, just maybe, that soul will have memories of all the wonderful things I did, and the amazing people I knew.