Luna Tail

Okay I’m loosing weight. Thanks goodness. Finally. I am sticking with Eat To Live, it’s the only way I can drop the weight. It’s a very healthy way to eat… lots of fruits and veggies and beans. And I can fill myself up with them so I’m not hungry. It’s a low calorie way to eat, too, which is actually good. Studies have shown that reduced calorie diets actually cause critters to live longer. Mostly mice. And probably humans, too.

So good thing I don’t have to worry about eczema, but I do have to worry about my food intake. And as long as my stomach is full, my body doesn’t seem to get hungry. It’s not the amount of calories that I eat, it’s being full and being healthy that counts.

My husband and I went on a hike up to Dog Lake last Friday and there were some very pretty flowers. This is one of them. Yes I am capable of taking pictures of things other than dogs!

I don’t know what this is… does anyone know what kind of flower this is? Hrm… interesting. I would like to look it up but I really don’t know how. Maybe some hip hop clothing would help me out but I’m not sure about that!

On another note, I have an appointment with a new Gyn this Friday to help me out with my PMS and maybe get some bio-identical progesterone going. I need some. I think I’m suffering some side effects of the Zoloft, mainly swelling of the face and nose, and I’m reaching my limit. I also feel like I’m having electricity in my muscles and my tolerance of it is just about up. I can tolerate a lot for a long time, but eventually I can’t anymore.

Okay so maybe, in some world, the word Obsession should actually be said as Commitment. But in my world, I have a hard time committing to anything. Instead I warp it into an obsession. But then I can’t maintain that obsession for long.. well, I can maintain it for about two years… and that might seem like a long time to some, but it’s my obsession time frame.

Some people say it takes about four months to establish a habit. But I can go on for two years, and then abruptly stop. Probably has a lot to do with my anxiety patterns too. Bleh. Maybe some spirometers would help me… but I don’t know about that. ugh!

Anyway, so i want to loose weight, but it seems like now I have to obsess about everything I put into my mouth or it ain’t gonna happen. My weight is going up now. Which I hate. I leave for Denmark on Sunday… after I get back, then I will obsess about my weight loss again! Okay, I’ll try to commit instead. But we’ll see.

So I went to my doctor yesterday to get my prescription of Zoloft refilled. And I told her about how the generics were not really working for me. So she basically gave me the leeway to play around with different generics and see what dosages works for me.  :p

I’m not too keen on the idea of drugs at all, however, the Zoloft makes it so that I don’t get as angry and abusive as I used to. And I don’t get as horrible during PMS that I used to. She said that I could consider just taking it when I’m PMSing only. That’s an option. But I’ll have to see what works… and it’s icky when I’m having PMS, which I’m getting into now, because not much seems to work anyway. Except the progesterone and the Agnus Castus. They help too. So anyway, I might play around with dosages and see. It’s just that the name brand Zoloft is so very expensive, and my budget is so very tight right now, that a little extra money would be really nice. Ugh.

Maybe they’ll put up some poster printing about generic drugs to let people know they might not be as effective as the name brand. Even the doc said that the generics don’t have to adhere to as strict of rules as the name brand. Pretty dumb, if you ask me.

Okay so I’m thinking I really do need to exercise. And I am thinking that the older I get, the more important it is going to be. Ugh. I really don’t like to exercise. Never did. Jogged for 2 or 3 years and actually was in fairly good shape when I did. But I haven’t done it for a while… it was one of those things I obsessed about and did a lot then it faded out after a couple of years. But I think I need to get back into it again.

I was on my feet the last couple of days, for hours and hours, and dang it takes to much out of me. My neck still hurts… and I have very little endurance. So I am going to attempt to be more active. Hopefully I won’t hurt myself and end up needing a lot of hospital disinfectant to get better. I will be careful. The older I get, the less strong the body is.

Okay so I’m having a really hard time loosing weight this time around. Could be because I’m just sick and tired of eating vegetables all day long. So I’ve been reading a bit and I’ve found some plans that incorporate more protein into my diet.

Protein is a bit difficult for me because I’m a vegetarian. I do eat fish, and yeah I know I know, some people say I’m not really vegetarian if I eat fish. Well I decided decades ago that I’d eat fish and so I still do. I don’t eat beef or chicken or pork. I haven’t since 1992, which is 18 years now. Wow, long time. I remember deciding that I’ll still eat fish and I don’t remember why, but at least I’m consistent. LOL

So anyway I’ve been eating some eggs and fish and nuts and my weight is starting to drop now. Though I’m afraid of jinxing it… maybe my body just needs more protein. I won’t eat cows or pigs or chickens though, so sometimes it’s hard to get protein. And I’m also cutting back on the soy. I’ve read good and bad about it, so I’m going to try to cut it out for a bit and see if I notice any difference. I’m also trying some milk… whole milk, and I might get some raw milk and try that too. I really don’t like the cows milk you get at the grocery store. I bought some Goat Milk today at Whole Foods…. and it’s not half bad! I mixed up some organic cocoa powder and some xylitol to sweeten it and it’s a yummy, supposedly healthy, hot drink.

I was up to 177 lbs at one point (YIKES) and today I weighed 168.6. So that’s good. I haven’t been this low for a while now. I want to get back down to 155 again so my stupid clothes will fit!

I am so glad I’m feeling better today! My tongue has that tingle that means it’s healing. It’s not so horribly sore anymore like it used to be. I woke up feeling better so my sick seems to be going away. My cold sore is also heeling up.

Now maybe I can have the brainpower to check on fixing my MacBook. I have to backup the hard drive before it goes to be repaired. The repair place thinks I spilled some liquid on it. But I swear I didn’t. If it happened, it wasn’t when I knew anything about it. Bleh. So anyway, they charge $150 to back up the hard drive. We think we can do it, but we don’t have another Mac so we have to fiddle with it to get it to work.

Anyway, tomorrow is Easter. I love Easter… though I prefer it when it’s warm and sunny and the flowers are coming out!

Okay in addition to my MacBook being broken, and my tongue being bitten, now I’m like totally sick. YUCK! I felt it coming on on Wednesday. And all day Thursday I worked from home so I wouldn’t have to get my coworkers sick. Today (what is today, Friday?) I’ve been in bed most of the day. I got up about 1:30 pm and fiddled some on FaceBook and watched TV a little bit too.

UGH. I don’t need to be sick again! I’d rather be outside in the 51 degree weather having fun doing some yard work. Maybe playing with some used golf balls. But instead I’m inside in bed all day with a nasty headache to boot. What crappy luck. Oh I also got a cold sore last week. May as well add insult to injury!

I’ve been going to the chiropractor for a few weeks now and I think it has helped me quite a bit. Now, though, my insurance coverage is running out and I’ll have to pay for any continuing treatment on my own. Which will get really expensive, really fast.

They went over a care plan with me today… which basically just entailed more treatments. I think 22 more. I have the paper upstairs. And I’ll have to pay for those myself and it’ll total about $2,000. Well I don’t have $2,000. I wonder if the health care reform bill will help this. LOL. I doubt it. It’s just my insurance, and they don’t really support chiropractics that much.

I wonder about continuing care… they did x-rays and they show how my spine is crooked and my neck is crooked. But I feel like I’m going to the car mechanic and I wonder how honest they are being, or if they are pulling my leg and wanting my money. And what if it doesn’t help anyway? I wish they had some female fat burner that would help…. ugh.

The muscles in my neck still hurt quite a bit. They say it’s because my neck isn’t straight and my bones are not supporting my muscles right. Sounds good to me. But still, I really don’t have that kind of money. I know that if I stopped cracking my neck, and did some decent exercises, that would probably help a lot. I just forget to stop cracking it and so do it all day long and I make it worse by the end of the day. Bleh. I hate this. I wish I had lots of money. But I just don’t. I only have enough to do my dog sports!

So I think my post yesterday was a complete mess. I wasn’t thinking well, and I haven’t been able to explain myself at all for the last few days. I blame a combination of hormonal changes (PMS and all that crap) and lack of sleep. Maybe a hgh supplement would help kick me into gear… though I do feel better today. Much much better, in fact.

Last week I was trying to explain something to a coworker and even as the words came out of my mouth I knew they were not making any sense. LOL. But now my hormones are equalizing, my sleep is better, and I’m weaning off the Prednisone. I don’t like that stuff either. Makes me feel funky and bad. I hope it helped my ear, but I don’t have another appointment until April 6th to check it out. So we’ll see when the time comes.

Anyway, sorry if I haven’t made sense in the last while!