Deeper than Muscle

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I’ve realized recently… well last night even, that the pain I’m experience isn’t really muscle pain. It’s deeper than that. And it’s not really pain as much as it is a sensation of thrumming or needles under my skin.

I am better… and although I still fight the idea that I have Candida or Lyme (though I’m on meds for both) I continue to do what the doctor tells me in hopes that I will feel completely better one day.

So my muscles won’t relax because I am all tensed out trying to suppress the unpleasant feeling underneath the muscles. It’s hard to describe. I got a massage yesterday and it helps to relax my muscles, but it does nothing for the underlying thrumming. Dnd that’s a good word… thrumming. Hrm.

The lighting fixture at the massage place is so dim, I had to look to see if they can brighten it to clean and vacuum… LOL I look at weird stuff huh?

Anyway I signed a contract.. it’s with Massage Envy. Like an idiot I didn’t realize I was signing for a year. But I can get out if I get a doctors note. So next time I see the doctor I’ll ask him for a note saying the massage may be hurting, not helping. :p I really can’t afford massages every month. I can’t afford much.. and yeah I’m still spending too much. BLEH

Oh well…

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