Aug 28 2007
Anxiety is Over the Top
My anxiety level has been over the top the last couple of weeks. Why oh why does everything have to happen at the same time? Not only am I leaving for Dog Camp this Saturday morning, I have four rescue collies being flown in from Houston on Saturday that I have to arrange transport for because I won’t be here, and foster homes or boarding for all of them. Ugh.
When I look at this logically, I know that I can handle it. When I look at it from an anxiety perspective, with my history and the meds I am on, I think I’m really over the top anxiety wise. I think the Zoloft is really dulling my emotions so I don’t actually feel the anxiety I would otherwise feel about this.
I lay in bed at night and I think.. what am I doing? Why do I think I can handle and place all these dogs? I have an awful belief deep down that people will just know somehow, when they see a collie on petfinder, that it’s me who is placing this dog and the people will just be turned away. Like I have some awful aura that really shuts people down and repels them. Logically I know this isn’t true. And I have to dispute my irrational thoughts like I have been taught.
I even bought some Karma Beads yesterday to help with my relaxation, and also some aromatherapy to calm me down. The beads might not be fashion jewelry, but I think I am really liking wooden jewelry. It’s brings me back down to earth, which is something I really need right now. I also bought probiotics, and drinks with vitamins and that grass that is supposed to be so good for you. And kava tea, I love kava tea.
And so disputing my irrational thoughts… I called three people last week about collies that I placed into homes, and I was starting to get worried because none of them called me back. Well, within the last couple of days two of them emailed me and gave me wonderful, great stories of how well their dogs are doing. So that means I do have success stories and the dogs and people are happy.
I am very good with dogs, I know this. The dogs that come into my home do very well and get a lot of confidence. So I can do that, too. My husband is very patient with me.
Ooohh… and another thing that really puts my anxiety through the roof is asking people for help. Since I’ll be out of town starting Saturday, I have to ask for help. Ugh! I hate it. I feel like I’m putting people out. Even though they are more than welcome to say no and set their boundaries. Still, asking for help feels, to me, like pulling teeth. I really wish I had another person, or two, here in Salt Lake who loved the collies as much as me and could work really closely with me. I have people who I do work with and they are wonderful, but most are not able to take collies as fosters. And we need fosters!
Anyway, mornings are better for me, evenings are worse. So I’m good right now. But as the day goes by I’ll get worse. I have to slow down, keep myself safe, and live in the present moment.
I can relate. It must just be that time of year. Everything is happening all at once and I can’t find space to breathe. Also, I absolutely loathe asking people for help. It always feels like it is going to put me over the edge. It’s funny because I don’t mind when people ask me for help (usually), so why should I assume they mind when I ask? Anyway, hang in there!
I can relate. It must just be that time of year. Everything is happening all at once and I can't find space to breathe. Also, I absolutely loathe asking people for help. It always feels like it is going to put me over the edge. It's funny because I don't mind when people ask me for help (usually), so why should I assume they mind when I ask? Anyway, hang in there!
Hi Edie… I am the same with with asking for help! I feel so guilty doing it, like I’m really putting people out, but if someone asks me for help I don’t mind helping at all, and I actually enjoy it! So I’m learning to ask and I’m really really trying not to worry about it.. that is only semi working lol.
It really must be that time of year, end of summer, everything just BAM happens. :p Thanks for your comment!
Hi Edie… I am the same with with asking for help! I feel so guilty doing it, like I'm really putting people out, but if someone asks me for help I don't mind helping at all, and I actually enjoy it! So I'm learning to ask and I'm really really trying not to worry about it.. that is only semi working lol. It really must be that time of year, end of summer, everything just BAM happens. :p Thanks for your comment!
I know excatly how you feel. Have you found the cause of your anxiety? Mine is because I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) which is a behavior issue, not really medical so they can’t truely treat it with medications. I am having to re-learn how to think. It’s not easy, but I am getting better!
I know excatly how you feel. Have you found the cause of your anxiety? Mine is because I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) which is a behavior issue, not really medical so they can't truely treat it with medications. I am having to re-learn how to think. It's not easy, but I am getting better!
Hi Leight, mine must be something with my brain because the Zoloft really helps. I don’t know if it was nature or nurture, or maybe some of both. I do need to change how I think, too, though, but that’s hard!
Hi Leight, mine must be something with my brain because the Zoloft really helps. I don't know if it was nature or nurture, or maybe some of both. I do need to change how I think, too, though, but that's hard!
Hi,
I think I’m suffering from some kind of anxiety disorder too… possibly something bipolar. I’m too scared to delve into it yet with my psychiatrist! I flip from one state to another, like I can only think in black and white. Currently taking a gram of trankimacen daily + 40mg prozac! Then she says I need to visit a pschologist too, to help deal with my stress problem… so I must be worse than I thought.
Have you tried exercising? That always helps me chill out. Or a small bottle of bicardi watermelon flavor by the side of some pool…
Cheers,
Leslie.
Hi, I think I'm suffering from some kind of anxiety disorder too… possibly something bipolar. I'm too scared to delve into it yet with my psychiatrist! I flip from one state to another, like I can only think in black and white. Currently taking a gram of trankimacen daily 40mg prozac! Then she says I need to visit a pschologist too, to help deal with my stress problem… so I must be worse than I thought.
Have you tried exercising? That always helps me chill out. Or a small bottle of bicardi watermelon flavor by the side of some pool… Cheers, Leslie.