Cynthia BlueOkay, I’m back from Dog Camp. Oh my gosh, it was amazing. Wonderful. The most fun I’ve had in a long time. My dogs were so tired and so sore afterwards they slept for days. My border collie’s feet were so worn down and raw from the sand and the running. But he had fun and he healed up just fine when we got back. I didn’t want to hold him back, I thought he can still have fun and rest when we get home. My collie also had a great time, though didn’t run amok quite as much. He was tired and happy at the end too.
The most important part was… I made a friend. I don’t think that has happened for… more years than I can remember. I met a girl and she was great, and we just clicked. We chatted and too into account what the other was doing so we could do things together. We ate meals together like we’d been friends for years. I kept my SA in check and no one even knew I had it.
I surprised myself.
I think I did so good because I knew it was temporary, and these folk wouldn’t really get to know me to find out anything bad about me and stop liking me. But then… making a new friend means we will keep in touch, right? And we are. Emails, and she even called me! Wow, that was fun. 
It makes me terrible nervous at the same time, but it makes me happy, too.
I really don’t know the rules of friends… how often you talk, or what you do together, or what is okay to talk about… and is it okay to look for your friend in a crowd to hang out with them. I really had to consciously think about these things. I haven’t had a good girlfriend since High School. Oh sure I have some I hang out with at work… but it’s kinda awkward sometimes. I don’t even know why. Except that maybe because I’m always afraid she’s going to find something in me that is rotten and she won’t like. Or she’ll really know how much I don’t know… and it’ll end up badly.
I dunno. Anyway, having a new friend is wonderful. I feel really really good about it!
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