Aug 04 2006
Who I Want To Be
I’m in a good place today.
I haven’t written in a while, I haven’t had too many bouts of SA, which has been nice, though it’s always in the back of my mind. Perhaps writing has already helped me a lot.
I was just looking at a picture of myself with one of my dogs. And you know, that is exactly how I’ve always wanted to look.
I’ve always wanted to be a granola girl. Cute, fit, smart, active. And know what? I am all those things. I’m 39, which is no longer young, but that’s okay. Can’t be young forever. But I’m still attractive, blonde hair and blue eyes. I recently lost 25 pounds, so I’m fairly fit. And I with my baseball cap on, and my dogs around me, hiking or running or whatever… yup, I’m look like what I’ve always wanted to look like. 
And so I should be more confident. I also have abilities I’ve always wanted. I’m fairly smart. I’m good with computers, learning how to be better with dogs. I can learn fairly quickly. Some things are hard, some things not as hard.
So I really wish I knew… I wish I just knew, that I am okay. All the way to the core of my being. I lack that conviction. Maybe it will come, in time. Maybe I’m building it up every day. I hope so. I think that is more valuable than money to have. Though money is security… but then again, if I have self-worth, the money should always be there, right?
I’m going camping this weekend, I hope it doesn’t rain too much.
Hi,
I am glad to read your post, looks like you are on the way. I also beleave it is possible, you just have to know who you are, your potencials, limitations, strengths, weaknesses, that will allow us find our own place and give meaning to our lives, e.g., I work on internet marketing, that doesn’t requires from me many social skills which is good, I feel comfortable and productive, that is what I mean, we must find things to do according to our personality.
Also I am into healty life style, eat properly, exercise, therapy, avoid cafeine, alcohol, drugs, write for therapy, read as much as you can about the subject.
Hugs, you are not alone, keep it up!
Hi,<br/><br/>I am glad to read your post, looks like you are on the way. I also beleave it is possible, you just have to know who you are, your potencials, limitations, strengths, weaknesses, that will allow us find our own place and give meaning to our lives, e.g., I work on internet marketing, that doesn't requires from me many social skills which is good, I feel comfortable and productive, that is what I mean, we must find things to do according to our personality.<br/><br/>Also I am into healty life style, eat properly, exercise, therapy, avoid cafeine, alcohol, drugs, write for therapy, read as much as you can about the subject.<br/><br/>Hugs, you are not alone, keep it up!