My Be Closing Down

Well, the husband got a job, woo hoo! I’m pretty excited. He’s graduation from college in May and has been applying for jobs, and already got one. Bit of a turkey if you ask me. I hope it doesn’t go to his head… ;) But he is really smart, and I’m glad he’s gotten one already. It was his first interview, and he didn’t even have to do a second interview. I hope he enjoys the job.

So anyway, I am not excited about blogging anymore, or buying Baby Gift Baskets, or posting links… so I may just be shutting this blog down. We’ll see, I haven’t decided. I don’t get many visitors anyway. And I’m still getting hacked, thus the default wordpress theme. I’m sick of fixing hacks and keeping up on software. I’m getting lazy.

Stomach Hurts

I hate it when my stomach hurts. It’s the worst, most annoying kind of pain. I don’t know why it hurts. I guess the most logical explanation is that I have some of bug. My throat is sore too (a bit more so than usual) and I have a head ache. Maybe I need some Allergy Testing San Diego but I don’t think I have allergies. No allergy medication ever helps me.

The hypochondriac in me kicks in, and I think maybe my stomach is bleeding because I’ve taken too much Ibuprofen. Or maybe my appendix is bursting, since I still have it. Yeah, I know, I worry about dumb stuff all the time. I’m having diarrhea too a little bit, but that’s not unusual, because of the time of the month and because of my diet. I eat a ton of high fiber foods so I’m quite often soft in that area.

So oh well, I took half a day off work today because I really, really hate it when my stomach hurts. And it’s not a nauseous kind of hurt. Just an ache kind of hurt. Weird. I hope it feels better tomorrow.

Love The Flowers

SAMSUNG

I love when the spring flowers start coming up. Granted, this is a crappy picture of my bleeding hearts, but they are starting to show. I need to get the good camera out and take some pictures. I’m having PMS this week so it may not get done. But they are so pretty. I love bleeding hearts. They are cute and pretty and spring flowers, and so easy to maintain!

I want to do more yard work, but I don’t have time. Maybe I will after I retire. I should look for skid steer for sale bargains, they would really help me out when it came to yard work, big tough machines! I don’t like to do much digging, it tires me out! I should do more, though. Maybe next summer I’ll be able to. I would like to get into the yard this weekend and do some clean up, I think it’s supposed to be nice!

Don’t Feel Bad For Me

I’m always worried about blogging about when I feel awful, because I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me. Really… I’m okay. I might be feeling awful sometimes, but all in all, I have a really amazing, wonderful life. I am doing the one thing that I am most passionate about over anything else, working with my dogs in dog sports. It’s amazing, and thrilling, and I love it. If I had a million million dollars, I’d still want to do dog sports.

My job is good, too, even though I’m not really too crazy at sitting behind a desk doing things for other people. I want to play, but I should be able to retire in just over a year. And that also thrills me.

I don’t have much user for cotter pins but that’s okay too, because they do come in quite useful sometimes!

So if I’m having PMS or I’m sick or I’m having anxiety… don’t worry about me. I am actually very good about taking care of myself. I get the rest I need. I get the exercise I need. I eat quite well, too. So I’m good. :)

The Horrendous PMS

Well, I still have PMS. I have written about it over the years, off and on, read various and sundry books and nothing really helps. I thought progesterone cream was helping but from what I’ve read, it could be the reason I could just sleep all freakin’ day if I tried. It can be depressive and make people lethargic and even depressed.

So I’ve been reading a new book by Elizabeth Vliet and talking to some of the women on the NAPs Forums. I guess the ‘new’ (still 10 years old now) idea is that more estrogen and less progesterone (progestins) may be the way to go.

In February Levi died, which threw me into a complete loop and the only thing I really felt was grief. It outweighed just about every other physical and emotional feeling. But this month, I’m off the progesterone cream, and I could just skin alive anyone who even looks at me at all. I feel horrible. My whole body just thrums with vibrations of pain. I am cranky and miserable and I want to sleep all day (but not as much as with the progesterone cream). Sleep still is my best escape and the best way I find to refresh myself from PMS and PMDD.

So from what I’ve been reading maybe some estrogen supplementation would be good. Dr. Vliet says that all the hype about it causing cancer isn’t really true. So who you believe? Go read her book because I’m not going to go into it here. But most of the studies are of Premarin which is the estrogen from horse urine and that just doesn’t work for human women. Maybe it’s good for horses, but just like cell boosters, there’s a difference between different types of living beings and electronics!

So, I have read about the different types of the Pill and there’s a new one out called Yaz. I think, finally, I feel like I have enough information in my head that I can go and talk to my GYN about it in an intelligent way. So I made an appointment, going to go in on April 10th. Have my yearly done and see what they say about Yaz. It has a third generation Progestigin in it, and a low dose of estrogen. Last time I took the Pill I felt like I wanted to die after 2 days. So I’m afraid of the pill. However, I don’t remember what kind I took. So this one, I’ll give a day, maybe two, if I want to die, I’ll stop. I can handle that, right? Ugh. such a pain. I hate PMS… though I’m sure I have the full blown Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.. PMDD. Yay for me. Not.

One Month Gone

Well it’s been one month, to the day, since Levi died. Levi my smooth blue collie boy. My heart dog. I miss him so very much. It seems like just yesterday he was still around. He was such a huge presence in this house, in my life, that everything is still different. And not in a good way. I can almost talk about him without crying… almost, but not quite.

I wish I could have done more for Levi. Maybe herniated disc surgery would have helped, if they could do it for dogs… he has problems with his spine. And arthritis in his spine. So he couldn’t hardly stand anymore. But I still think that if I hadn’t given him that dumb bully stick, he would still have been around for at least a couple more months. What I would give to have him with me now…

Warming Up

It’s starting to warm up, already. Though this weekend, of course, it might rain. I plan on driving to Colorado Springs this weekend for a dog obedience seminar. Hopefully the rain won’t be too bad. I’m really looking forward to the seminar. I hope it doesn’t snow, that would be the worst. It’s about a 10 hour drive from here to Colorado Springs. Kinda long, but I’m going with a friend so we should be able to keep each other awake and entertained.

I wonder if they sell any Fedora Hats there, I love Fedora Hats, aren’t they just very cool? LOL. They are stylish again, I think. Maybe I can pick up some souvenirs, too, but I really can’t afford anything. We are getting very low on money. I do hope the Husband gets a job quickly after he graduates from school. I think the first thing I’m going to do is upgrade my Macbook. Maybe get another tattoo, too. I’m in need of another tattoo!

The Mileage

Mileage

I dunno why, but I get entertained by watching the mileage on my minivan. Now that we have the technology to take pictures with our phones, every once in a while I’ll snap an image of the mileage and put it in my photo album. I use Picasa on my mac, and I really like it.

So this is a mileage shot. I try to get ones that have fun sequences on them. I can’t carry any welding supplies in my van but I have lots of dog things and I do drive a lot, so I like to watch the mileage grow. I don’t know why, because I think the time does go by too darn fast anyway. But I am just entertained, so I’ll keep at it.

Where Does The Time Go?

Well, it’s almost spring again. March is that weird month that sometimes seems like spring, sometimes seems like winter. Wing, or maybe Sprinter, I guess it can be called. I dunno. I’m still recovering from being hacked. I’m also still recovering from the loss of my heart dog, Levi. But I’m doing okay, I think. Better than I thought I would, really.

I’m ready for it to be warm. Though I do love the long dark nights, and I miss them when they are gone. I’m also ready for retirement. I wanted time to go slower, so that Levi would be around. But now that he’s gone, it can speed up again so I can retire. One year, four months, 29 days. Yup, I’m counting. My husband should graduate from school the beginning of May, and hopefully find a good job. I hope the economy is getting better so that he can. This time next year, things may be different. In a good way.

Our neighbors are selling their house. It doesn’t have any steel buildings, but they have a big old shed, and I’d really love to buy some of their property. Then we could stay here and remodel the whole house. But sometimes that seems like too much work. I dunno. I can’t decide. Actually the house is in foreclosure, so it may be a good time to try to buy some of the property, but I dunno. I haven’t really felt much like it lately.

Life Isn’t Good Now

I haven’t been posting… because we had to put my collie, Levi, down last week. I’ve been pretty much a mess. I want to stay home and just sleep all day, or read or watch TV to avoid thinking. But I can’t, I have to go to work, and so I’m going to work and trying to get by. I still need to recover all my blogs’ pictures and things. Hopefully I’ll have some time this weekend to do that.

I’m just exhausted and sad. Levi was my heart dog. I miss him very much.